Staying Strong During a Divorce
A divorce can occupy so much of your mental stamina that it is natural to lose focus on what your children need from you.
The breakup of the only world they have ever known can affect them on a level that you have not been able to appreciate since you were young. HelpGuide emphasizes that your kids need you and your ex to stay involved in their lives and make them feel like they are still a priority.
Assure them that your divorce is not their fault
Children, especially young ones, are still pretty self-centered. They often believe that they are responsible for your divorce. Reassure them that this is a problem between you and mom only and has nothing to do with bad report cards or fights with siblings.
It is essential to communicate clearly but not in a way that suggests they would not understand adult problems. This is also a chance for you to teach them a great life lesson by speaking kindly and not blaming your ex, no matter the reasons for your divorce.
Encourage them to speak freely and honestly
Sometimes, verbally expressing feelings can be the best therapy for your kids, even if you cannot fix all their worries. Encourage them to say what they need to say even if they think it will hurt you.
Let your kids know that you support them and will always be on their side. They may better understand the strength of the family bond when they realize that they can be honest, and it will not make you love them any less.
Take care of yourself, too
Your well-being might also slip to the back of your mind as you focus on the divorce process. You may have to put a little extra effort into keeping yourself healthy. Concentrating on eating right and getting plenty of exercise could have the bonus side effect of improving your mental game.
Your friends can provide a necessary distraction, as well. At least a few of them have probably been in your situation, and they will likely be there for you in whatever capacity you need.